wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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