but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Let's get the cat blown out
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
