Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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