I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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