Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
