Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
