And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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