She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
