Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
