i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize