ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
