so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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