Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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