Apparently you make a good broom.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
