I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
