I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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