So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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