Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
