Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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