i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
