just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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