dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
50% drunk capacity currently
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
