you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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