Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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