Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
