I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
