Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
