suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
two words: eviction party
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
