It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
