In the future we'll all be gay
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
