remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
