This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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