this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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