she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
