Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
