Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
