So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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