Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
