I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize