You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want to make out with him forever
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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