i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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