I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
being pregnant is like rehab
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
