Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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