Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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