My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
