Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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