If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
