mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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