i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
