I'm laying in your front yard are you home
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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