everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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