Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
