worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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