You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize