Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
