I'm lost and stupid without you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize