If i come over, it means nothing
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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