ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
