No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
