hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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