I can text with my tongue
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize