Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
