I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
youre lurking in front of me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
