Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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